I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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