used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
