It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Is this like a preordered booty call?
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