PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
