Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
