I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
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Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
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I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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