THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
