Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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