Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize