The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
