They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
