I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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