how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
