Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
this boner is exhausting
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
