Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
