I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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