Do you still have your period?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Randomize
