I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
