um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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