i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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