I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
