I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"