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• (954): View more from Florida

  You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.

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• 

  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (773): View more from Illinois

  She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.

  (1-773): View more from Illinois

  Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married

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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in

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• (561): View more from Florida

  so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.

  (347): View more from New York

  Something to remember me by.

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• 

  If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (705): View more from Ontario

  I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.

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• (805): View more from California

  It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..

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• (518): View more from New York

  I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate

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• (801): View more from Utah

  My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.

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