Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much. http://tfl.nu/qwgv
  Replies (17) Good night (3907) Bad night (689)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.

  (1-405): View more from Oklahoma

  which gay bar do you need a ride home from?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you. (1-405): which gay bar do you need a ride home from? http://tfl.nu/2t13
  Replies (14) Good night (1583) Bad night (4917)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you http://tfl.nu/oo8d
  Replies (36) Good night (1142) Bad night (4557)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box http://tfl.nu/v4vm
  Replies (16) Good night (4863) Bad night (686)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER. (610): When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!" http://tfl.nu/bnpd
  Replies (40) Good night (6215) Bad night (1241)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot http://tfl.nu/9cpf
  Replies (78) Good night (6484) Bad night (850)
• Favorite

  (+81): View more from

  I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.

  (+61): View more from Australia

  You're never coming back, are you?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+81): I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days. (+61): You're never coming back, are you? http://tfl.nu/mhpp
  Replies (63) Good night (6747) Bad night (879)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  how was last night?

  (1-908): View more from New Jersey

  i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): how was last night? (1-908): i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me. http://tfl.nu/23nl
  Replies (32) Good night (6431) Bad night (3145)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me. http://tfl.nu/2xwv
  Replies (5) Good night (524) Bad night (2005)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home http://tfl.nu/e4lh
  Replies (4) Good night (888) Bad night (607)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere http://tfl.nu/5ite
  Replies (4) Good night (1264) Bad night (586)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on. http://tfl.nu/oqbv
  Replies (1) Good night (1028) Bad night (426)
• Favorite

  (551): View more from New Jersey

  She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (551): She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot. http://tfl.nu/527s
  Replies (3) Good night (1011) Bad night (378)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's amazing

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): It's amazing (610): I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs http://tfl.nu/3qhh
  Replies (4) Good night (608) Bad night (290)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.

  (512): View more from Texas

  And loving it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (504): I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week. (512): And loving it. http://tfl.nu/c8g6
  Replies (1) Good night (599) Bad night (265)

Randomize