I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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