Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
