i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
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The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
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I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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