no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
