ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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