You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
