i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
My pussy is not your playground.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
