we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
