Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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