Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
