your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
