they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
