I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
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