grandma shit on top of the toilet
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
