hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
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Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
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She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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