i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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