she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
