i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
