You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
