Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
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the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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