I have demons in me.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I think your dad took our porno
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
