omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
