:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
