She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
