so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
