Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
