Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
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toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
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You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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