It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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