I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I will be naked everywhere
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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