i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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