grandma shit on top of the toilet
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
