So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
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he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
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She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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