i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Randomize
