he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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