Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
