I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
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we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
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See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
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