i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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