lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
17 year olds will be the death of me.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
