I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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