Kiss
Puke
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
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