I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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